I and my son was and bought so much food yesterday after we decided that we could manage it. Act as much food and have their children with is just as exciting every time. Think it is important that he gets to be with and he thinks it is fun. We walked into the store when it was light outside and we came out of the store when it was dark. There is a lot to work with then when you get home with all the goods but it is best to and then it’s done. I like to be able to fill up the freezer and the refrigerator then do not have to shop so often 😛
To sort all our clothes and run a few extra washers. Cleans out and buy some new clothes. Cleaned my son’s room and he has got to decide which toys he wants to keep and who he wants to give away. It is so easy to accumulate too much stuff. Good energy to get in a home that does not have too much things because the bad energy gets stuck easy if you have a lot of things. Energy needs space to move on and to be able to take forward. I feel the difference so much that it just feels liberating to clean.
I clean in a healthy way for it is not possible to clean all the time. I have those days that it is not a priority for me to clean up but the days I let be so. I know I still get it cleaned then anyway 😛
It is healthy for me to get these days when I’m at home no matter really what I do at home. Is there a way for me to manage myself and to feel calm. It goes to the big a lot of energy for me just by I am outside of my home. Also, if I do things that I love. I’m like a bad burned mobile battery that can go from 1 million % of the battery rapidly to a total – 500000 % .
This is why we can’t hang out or that I can work some periods. This is why I sometimes you just have to go home when I can. While I do not choose to go away for much. Everything is carefully planned by me because I want to have so good balance of everything as possible in this imbalance. Fixes this very good, I think. Many people often wonder when it comes to me. Why does she not ? Why does she do it ?
The answer to the questions is that I do it when I’m ready and when I can. I’m not lackadaisical or lazy, I work and live all the time in order to maintain balance. I have chosen to fight with myself every day because I am a strong and worthy opponent. It is the success in my own development, which allowed me to continue and it is also the acceptance to stop myself, where it is useless. Better to give priority to what works than to begin to prioritize and spend energy on it that will only take energy from it that works and I go backwards 😛
There is always something going on and I’ll continue to work here with my music hihi so Lovely 🙂
Today I had difficult to go up because I had not gotten so much sleep. Yesterday I cleaned the I order on a bunch of stuff and then it was hard to unwind. Have known that I was not completely healthy. Hope it gets better soon. It is not fun to barely get up out of bed, but it is sometimes. It feels really good to more order here at home in all cases 😛
My next song is coming out soon, which feels absolutely amazing. I sent it now in the weekend for my distribution company :
There is so much to do but so wonderful. Will try to go to sleep earlier in the evening so that I am rested tomorrow hihi 😛
When people die, so I know what happens because I is medial. It is something that I have always known and experienced on my way. It is so sad when young people die. Today when I opened Facebook so I read that one of my friends died. I remember that I interviewed him for the long time no see here on my blog then he is a good Rapper and made music. So good at music and the whole life in front of him. A kind nice person so young and a real fighter. I am thinking of all his family and send all my love to you. I lost one of my best friends when I was younger and I think of him every day. It is still extremely emotional and there is so very missed but I know he is proud of the person that I am today. It gives me strength even in the most difficult moments. Sometimes we’ll talk in our way, but even so, it feels heavy.
Was a bit interrupted in relation to the which I had planned to do this weekend, for the first I was sick and then I got my son sick. But the best part is that we feel good now. It is the weekend and we can take it easy.
I keep on writing music and it goes well. It will be exciting to see what will become of everything. I’m writing on many songs at the same time now which makes it extra interesting. It is thus that I want to work and work best at this time, however, so it becomes a real challenge. It is for that I work a little different than how I usually do.
Wonderful to just be me and just devote myself to different things. Immerse myself completely and indulge myselves to wherever the creativity takes me. An absolutely amazing feeling. Wonderful to just be in all this 😛
Yesterday 😛 , it was an interesting day that separated themselves a bit from the other days when it does not occur so often. But I know myself so well that I can quickly read and analyze what I need to do. I was a bit ill yesterday for those who do not know how I work. But this is recurring every month. Now think that it is your period but it is not entirely wrong to think so. We like to think that your period will be the 20 no weirdness at all. I have errors on my thyroid and take medicine for it and it works great. But should I have my period around the 20 so starts my body to complicate already the 13. It has become much worse in recent years, and it’s like my hormones get the free spin and that the medicine does not help as it should a week before your period. When my medication does not help, so it goes on me, both physically and mentally, and I become even more tired than usual. I will of course check this with my doctor. These symptoms usually come one step at the time so Iam able to know when the fatigue will gradually. What happened yesterday was like someone pressed a button. So there I sat at work in the couch and my bodily defense mechanisms shuts down me to gather new energy. It is a little easier for me if stuff like this happens when you are at home then there will be less work for me to gather new energy. But I’m stubborn and have no problem with carrying myself home in the best possible way. It is just to be firm and clear with myself and take myself home 😛
You who know me know that I have so much self irony and humor that I think this is terribly funny at the same time as I, of course, will hear of me to a doctor. Iam and work as I do and most people know that I am doing what I can according to my capacity. My capabilities may differ tremendously from day-to-day, and then it is so. Sometimes it is like I get into an involuntary hibernation, but I know that I need it to do on other days. There are many factors that made that I knew yesterday, now so. But the biggest sign was that I went from being very keen to feel that I would be able to fall asleep and I was on my way to do it if I had put me down.
I can never make as straight of which I have had sleeping problems for about 15 years. Falling asleep in the middle of the day in addition to after lot of coffee. Easy-to-read myself there. I open with this because I think it is important to spread the message that despite the fact that we are who we are, and suffer what we have, we are Amazing.
Important to accept yourself and surround yourself by people who understand. Sometimes, it can’t get other people to understand and then it is important that you know how you work and that you accept yourself.
Today as mixed/mastered it with my next song in the studio and I am preparing to soon let you hear 🙂 .
A thousand Thanks to those of you who follow me on my Music Journey :
Now I have finished the cover of my next song. It is a song that I have written in Swedish and it will be released in the nearest time. Feels so funny that I received the order on it for sometimes it goes easier and other times it takes a little longer. It depends a bit on how I want it. I am excited and happy to soon share with you another song that I have made.
My 13 songs will soon become 14 😛 :
It feels absolutely amazing to do music and there will be more songs from me in the future. Now I’m going to continue to work here 😛
It has been very exciting activities that we have been on now for the whole weekend. I have very much to work with regarding my blog and my music but will work on it as I can today. Need to rest for any day before to collect the energy. This is to be able to continue to do what I want. I have soon one of my next songs finished in the musicstudio so it feels really fun 😛
Today, I am happy that my beloved SATSUMAS have arrived. It is really my favorites and I have bought a lot. Need to get me some extra vitamins right now.
I’ll also continue to do the finished cover of my next song. It is not so much left to do 😛
Yesterday I had a real good day I sat and wrote the lyrics to my new songs. Worked with them almost all the way until midnight so it was very much done. I have so much that I want to make my music, and there are many songs that I sit and work with. What I also do is to structure up the songs a bit so I get some kind of order on them. Parts up what is clear in the text and what I need to work more on.
It feels fantastic to have finally begun with the songs that I’m working with now and I have started to get good order on them. To be able to sit down and have the focus that I had yesterday is nothing that I can determine that I should have. It just comes and then it is just to fit in. Once I have started it becomes easier. Before, it is just a bunch of paper with texts 😛
I have one of my next songs in the studio which will be released when it is ready. A thousand thanks to all of you who listen to my music :
Today so I will soon go to my other work, which feels great. So now I sit and drink coffee to wake up a bit. Should also work tomorrow so it will be home and sleep after work today.
Played out my 14 song yesterday 😛 .It was really fun and there is always a new challenge for me. I never know how my senses are the days that I shall record but it has gone well so far. Sometimes I have good focus and other times it takes a little longer for me to get it as I want it. But it is enough for most people. So it is with creativity and there is nothing that can completely control. Sometimes it will fully automatically, and sometimes it takes a little bit longer. Some days I can write a lot of music.
Other days, it can’t write a line of text. But that is the way it is and I like that it is so. I have very many thoughts about a lot and I have a good imagination. It helps me when I write my music and work is not a thing, then I try something else. I have an internal strong performance anxiety where I know how I want it to be. I struggle all the time to achieve the achievement that I have fixed. I know how I want it so I’m tough on myself. Know that the end result always makes me more than satisfied regarding my music.
Therefore, it is worth that I am tough on myself. I know exactly what I want and how hard I can push myself when it comes to the music. Sometimes so close I only of all things, and I get blocked in it as I do, and it can be about anything. But I’ve learned to deal with this in a good way so it will not be any big problems. I have good self-awareness and I’m not ashamed to tell other people when I become blocked in my senses. Those who know me see all the time that I am trying to in spite of everything. I am a person who needs a lot of time and repeated routines that suit me so therefore structure the I up the a good everyday. A weekday where I in a smart way all the time fix the small things that make everyday life simpler for to be able to constantly do it as I do. Adapt to the outside world as good as possible but also to be able to be yourself as much as I can 😛
I have not always liked myself as a person and how I have acted. I have acted wrong many times in pure frustation in that everything I did was wrong all the time. Finally, was there anything that was the only thing that I knew. It was something that became my false sense of security. When it was something that I actually did well so it felt like I was not worthy to be good. Then I acted wrong instead of that it was my false sense of security. This was not a healthy behavior and I drew to me the wrong kind of people. People who were like me, and I felt respected in all the chaos that constantly arose. It was like to be living death and to be totally outside the society in which I feel like a part of nowadays. I had to accept myself at the time and I had no choice. It was a hell to me, for I could not control myself. The road to the person I am today has not been easy but I’m very proud of the person I have become. I think about myself today and I know who I am.
Maybe I can’t explain in words who I am but I can tell you that I think about myself. My new I, I have not had in so many years, so it’s new to me. I know what I want and I know what I can do. I is also for me a mystery which I find very interesting and I love to be me.
Amazing to get to experience it as I do with everything today. I am so grateful that I never gave up. I am grateful for all the people who believe in me.