How to say ”screw you” in any language

I have noticed recently that people are finding increasingly clever ways to diss each other. In show business, the classic ”Don’t call us, we’ll call you” has come and gone. Now performers are being subjected to many mixed signals on a daily basis. Sometimes I wish they’d just tell me to f**k off–at least that would be less confusing.

After a recent performance, a booker said to me, ”What you’re doing is really fresh and unique. I’m so excited to see a comic who is willing to take chances and not follow the status quo. I’m looking forward to working with you.”  I can’t get him to return my calls now.

I recently interviewed for a job that suits me perfectly:  hosting a podcast about poker.  The feedback:  ”You’re obviously the right man for this job. What would it take for us to get you to sign on?”  He blocked me on Facebook.

I knew that the entertainment business was a very competitive one before I entered the field. I just didn’t know the ones in power would compete over who can find the most clever way to say ”screw you.”

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